Tuesday, February 15, 2011

it's really over ; eleven

Guys I know it's been WAY too long, but I was reading over some of these and thought I might be able to get some inspiration going. So I hope you enjoy this one :)
OH and I've been spending alot of time on Mibba, which is where I have a few new stories as well, so you should go read some :)


I sat outside of her hotel room, and I couldn't knock on the door. I wouldn't answer her phone calls, or her texts. I hoped she would open the door, but after two hours, nothing.

"Max?" I heard the door click and wouldn't stand up. I just stared at her, and she just smirked, "What's up?"

I finally stood up, and she knew something was wrong.


"Julie, something happened"


"I talked to Annie"

"Well that's great, how'd it go?"

I was going to break her heart again. She'll never forgive me this time.

"Not good"

Her expression fell, and her eyes turned sad, "What happened Max?"

"She's pregnant"


The words came out of his mouth, and my heart felt like it literally snapped. I squeezed my eyes shut, keeping out the tears, and hoping this was all just a dream. A sick dream.

I opened my eyes and he was standing there, and I knew it was no dream.

"Well be happy with her" I went to shut the door but he put his hand on it and I wasn't strong enough, so I let him in. Which is what started this whole thing in the first place.

"Julie, it's not that simple"

"So what are you going to do?"

"You know I have to--"

"Stay, I know. You have obligations, and I'm not denying she's pregnant, but I know she's using this to keep you. She knows without that baby, you're back in my arms again"

"I'm sorry"

"I don't even know why I came here"

"Julie, I know you--"

"You know it feels like you did this on purpose"

"Did what?"

"Came back, make me fall for you all over again and then pull the rug out from under me. I'm losing you all over again, what did I do to deserve feeling like that again?"

"You didn't do anything" he looked sincere, but at this point it was really hard to believe him.

"You know if you go this time Max, I'm going home, and there will be nothing left for us. I'm not taking you back to be thrown away again"

"I'm not throwing you away"

"You should have talked to her before last night. I fell in love with you all over again last night Max, you made me feel--"


"Perfect, when every single day since you left, I felt like I wasn't enough for you"

"I'm not giving up on you, I'm just...delayed"

"I can't wait for you Max, as soon as you see that baby, you're going to fall in love with her again..."

"You don't know that"

"You're telling me, the moment you see your baby, and see their mother, you're going to be able to leave them...for me?"


"Don't call me that, just get out, this is done Max, don't come near me again" I felt the tears burning in my eyes and he wasn't budging, "Just go!" I raised my voice this time and he tried to come closer to me.

"Je suis désolé" he whispered it as he wrapped his arms around me. It's what started our relationship, and it was now ending it.

I pulled away and stepped back from him, "Go, please"

"I can't do that"

"Get out Max, because you know I will call the cops...I don't care who you are, just get out"


"Get. Out."

He finally turned on his heel, grabbed the door and slammed it behind him. Just the slam from the door was enough to knock me down to the floor. He left me again, how was I supposed to recover this time?

Wednesday, November 10, 2010

what now? ; ten

I woke up the next morning and there he was, by my side, exactly where he should be. I gently placed my hand on his cheek and his face scrunched up and I just chuckled. His eyes slowly opened and a smile spread across his face.



“I’m surprised you stayed” I said.

“Why wouldn’t I?”

“This makes things really complicated Max…”

“I know”

“You know, I had so much to tell you…”

“You still can” he said.

I stood up, wrapped a sheet around me and looked over at him. It was hard to even get remotely mad at him with that look on his face.

“I love you…Max Talbot, I did from the moment we met, and I never stopped…”

“Why didn’t you tell me?” he asked, putting his jeans back on before standing up.

“Because…I didn’t want to be the one to try and keep you from what you really want”

“Then why didn’t you come?”

“You didn’t even ask me!”

“Would you have if I did?”

“I might have thought about it more if you did” I replied, “It would have been hard to leave my entire life behind, but if I knew you were a sure thing…maybe I would have…”

He placed his hand on my cheek and looked right at me, “Do you know how different things could be right now?”

“You mean I wouldn’t have to fight for you?”

“Is that why you came here?”

“Of course it is you idiot. I was tired of moping, you were the only thing that could fix me, and she was in the way, but to be honest, I didn’t really care. I would do anything to have you be mine again”

A small smirk formed on his lips and I couldn’t help but smile, “Well here’s a fact. I love you too, I never stopped, and I will gladly be yours again, if you’ll let me”

“You need to talk to her first”

“Okay, if that’s what it will take”

I just placed a small kiss on his lips and wrapped my arms around his neck, “Promise me you won’t leave again” I whispered.

“I promise”


“You’re…leaving me?” her eyes started to well up with tears, and my heart started breaking.

“I’m…sorry Annie…I love her”

“I thought you loved me too”

“I do, it’s just--”

“I thought…you were the one Max…”

“Annie…you know we were doomed from the start”

“I love you”

“I’m sorry Annie…”

“I’m not letting you go that easily Max”

“You’ll find someone Annie, someone that loves you…like I couldn’t” I said as I moved towards the door.

“I’m pregnant”

I turned around quickly and stared at her for a moment, “Are you joking? Don’t play with me Annie”

“I’m not lying” she smiled, “We’re gonna have a baby”

In that moment, everything seemed to be happening in slow motion, there was no way I could leave her now.

Friday, October 1, 2010

it's so easy to come back into you ; nine

My head was pounding as I sat up looked around. Max was gone, that doesn’t surprise me. I sighed and fished through my bag for a bottle of Tylenol. Where this headache came from is beyond me.

I grabbed the bottle of water next to the bed and took the Tylenol. As I laid back in the bed, silently, I could hear water running and then stop. He was still here.

I heard the bathroom door open and he appeared from around the corner in his jeans from last night. I couldn’t help but stare as he ran his fingers through his hair and throw his shirt over his head.

“Hey, you’re up” he said turning around.

“Yah, but I feel like shit”

“You don’t look so good either, no offence”

“None taken” I replied laying back on the bed.

My stomach made a funny noise and I quickly sat up, running towards the bathroom and slamming the door shut. I just barely made it. I’ve been here less than 24 hours and I’m sick. Just what I needed.

When I finally stopped, I sat back against the bathtub to catch my breath. My head killed and my stomach felt like it was going to burst.

“You okay?” I heard from outside the door.

“Not really” I whined.

I eventually got the energy to stand up and brush my teeth. I looked in the mirror and my face was completely flushed. It seems the flu bug got to me.

I trudged out, barely looking at Max as I went towards the bed. He stuck his hand out and put it on my forehead.

“You’re really burning up” he said.


He grabbed the garbage can from the corner of the room and put it beside me. As I fell down on the bed.

“I’m going to the pharmacy, I’ll grab you some gravol, and ginger ale, see if that helps any”

“Max, you don’t have to do that”

“I want to” he replied, “I’ll be back in a flash”

I pulled the covers over me as I heard him shut the door. I haven’t had the flu since I was sixteen. Man, those were the days.

I felt a hand on my back and I woke up and saw Max, “Take this” he said handing me a Gravol, “That should help”. I swallowed it down and laid back on the bed. He just smiled and gently kissed my forehead. He was absolutely perfect.

It wasn’t long before I was out cold again.

My phone woke me up this time, Ally was trying to get a hold of me.

“Hello?” I answered hoarsely.

“You okay?”

“No, I’m sick, really sick, like--” before I could finish the bucket was in my face and then so we’re my insides, at least that’s what it felt like.

“You okay?” I heard Max come from the washroom.

“Fine” I replied.

“He’s there?” she asked.

“He..uh…stayed the night”


“He came to see me because YOU told him where I was staying”

She was silent for a moment, “He was asking about you, he didn’t have your number, and so I told him you were in Pittsburgh…I couldn’t lie, I’m sorry”

I just laid back on the bed, “It’s fine, but I’m going to try and sleep some more”

“Feel better” she said.

“Love you”

I hung up and laid back down, head still throbbing.

“What was that about?”

“It was Ally, just checking in” I replied.

“Did you want to take a shower, it might help you feel better”

“I guess you’re right”

I slowly stood up and grabbed some clean clothes and shut the bathroom door behind me. No guy has ever been willing to take care of me when I’m sick. Mostly because I look horrendous and I get really cranky.

The warm water felt so good over my skin, I could stand in here for hours. I think the worst of it is over, I hope the worst of it is over.

I dried myself off and put on a pair of black stretchy yoga pants, a tank top and a hoodie. My stomach was still queezy, but nothing more was coming out of there.

“Feel better?” he asked.

“Much” I nodded as I pulled the covers over me.

He grabbed the bucket from beside my bed and went into the bathroom. I heard the water running on and off and it sounded like he was talking to himself. Why was he doing this?

He came out and set it back beside my bed, “Why are you being so nice to me? You didn’t have to stay”

“I wanted to”

“Don’t you have hockey?”

“Day off actually, practice tomorrow, and the next day, and game that night”

“What about Annie?”

“She called…”


“I told her I crashed at one of the guys’ places”

“I don’t want to get you sick too” I frowned.

“If I do, it’s my own fault” he smirked.

I slept a bit more, but watched tv the rest of the evening. Max stayed the whole time, why he did is beyond my comprehension. Yet, I liked it. Just him being here felt right. I missed his company.

“Thank you, again Max for staying, that was really sweet”

He just shrugged it off, “I missed you, and even seeing you sick is better than not seeing you at all”

“I beg to differ” I replied.

He just laughed, “Well you sound a lot better”

“I feel better too”

“And you look better”

My heart jumped into my throat and I looked down at my hands. I didn’t even know how to respond to a comment like that.

“Well…maybe I should go”


He walked to the door and slipped on his shoes. I followed right behind him to say goodbye.

“Thanks, again”

“You’re welcome”

“You want to get a coffee tomorrow?” I asked, “Talk?”

“I’d like that” he replied.

I just reached up for a hug as he wrapped his arms around me. I wish he didn’t have to go, I wanted him to stay. I held on as long as I could before he pulled away from me. He opened the door, and every part of me wanted to pull him back in.

“Bye Max”

He just looked right at me and my heart started beating faster. In one swift motion he walked back into the room and shut the door.

“What are you doing?”

“Something I should have done in Montreal” he cupped his hand around my neck and kissed me. My heart felt like it was going to jump out of my chest. He started to unzip my hoodie, and I put my hand on his chest.


“You want to stay the night?”

He just smirked, “Only if you want me to”

“You know I do”

He kissed me again as my hoodie hit the floor. This felt good, it felt right, I didn’t care where we were, and I didn’t care what would happen in the morning, right now was all that mattered.

“Are you sure?”

He just nodded his head, “I am”

Monday, September 27, 2010

i should not have let you go ; eight

Back home felt good. Except for the fact that he wasn’t here. I wish I could have told him, I needed two more minutes. Everything could be different if I had just told him how I felt.

“You okay?” Ally asked sitting across the room from me.

“I’m fine” I said, “I should have told him…”

“You still can” she replied, “Pick up the phone and do it”

“No, it’s too late now…it was one of those now or never situations. He’s got a girlfriend, and he said it in past tense, he doesn’t love me anymore”

“How do you know if you don’t tell him?”

“If he really does love me, he’ll tell me”

“I think he’s scared”

“Of what?” I asked.


My heart skipped a beat at those words. He wasn’t afraid of me, was he?


“He’s terrified to admit how he feels about you now, so he’s letting you know how he used to feel…if that makes sense. That’s just how I see it”

I just shrugged, “Maybe…”

She tossed the phone at me and I stared at it for a minute, “Call him…get on a plane, do something, please. I’m tired of your moping”

“He has a girlfriend…”

“Forget about her, and fight for him”

I pulled my laptop off of the coffee table and scanned through the next flights to Pittsburgh.

“There’s a flight to Pittsburgh tonight, Red Eye”

“Do it, or forever wish you had”

I shut my laptop and raced into my room and threw a pile of clothes into my bag. I didn’t even care what clothes they were, I was in too much of a rush. I was actually doing this, I was going after him. Nothing would stop me now.

I can’t say that I’ve been to Pittsburgh before, but just as I stepped outside of the airport I was already in love. The lights, the buildings, there was just an air about the place. I grabbed a taxi and got a ride to the nearest hotel, and I was thankful that there was a few rooms left.

I got up to my room and collapsed onto the bed. It felt better than my own bed. Maybe I’ll end up staying here for a while. I called Ally to let her know I had arrived safely, and we ended up chatting for a bit. As I hung up the phone I realized we had been talking for a good hour and it was after 1am. I was quick to change into my PJ’s, get cleaned up and climb into this bed. This bed has been calling my name since I got here.

I climbed in, and I felt like I was floating on a cloud. I pulled the down filled cover over me and I was out cold within minutes.

I heard banging on my door, that obviously woke me up. I slowly took the covers off, feeling the chill of coming out of a warm bed, and trudged to the other side of the room to turn a light on. I looked at the clock, 3am.

“Who is it?” I sighed rubbing my eyes to adjust to the light.

“It’s me” I knew that voice.

“Max, what are you doing here?”

“Just let me in” he said a bit lower, “I’d rather not wake anyone else up”

I just took in a deep breath and let him in. To be honest, he looked terrible.

“How did you know where I was staying? Or that I was even staying in Pittsburgh?” I asked.

“Ally” he simply said.

“She can’t keep anything private” I huffed.

“Why are you here?” he asked, “In Pittsburgh”

“Is a girl not allowed to take a trip?” I replied sarcastically.


“Max, I came here to see you, am I allowed to do that? Or does that interfere with your life?” I snapped.

“I didn’t say I wasn’t happy you’re here, it’s just unexpected” he replied.

I just sighed, “Sorry, I’m a little tired”

“I guess I should have waited until this morning”

“Would have been nice” I smirked, “So why did you come see me now anyways?”

“I wanted to see you” he shrugged, “Is that so bad?”

“No” I said shaking my head, “It’s perfectly fine”

I’m tired
I should not have let you go
So I crawl back into your open arms

“I missed you” I said amidst the silence.

“I missed you too” he replied, getting closer.

All I could do was wrap my arms around his waist. I think he was a little caught off guard but he wrapped his arms around me. It’s been so long since I’ve had any physical contact with him at all. This moment, it felt like he had never left.

“What is it you came to tell me?” he asked pulling away from me.

“Oh…um, to be honest this isn’t a good time”

He raised an eyebrow at me curiously while I fiddled with the ring on my finger, “Why?”

“Can we talk about it tomorrow, or…like later today I guess?”

“If that’s what you want”

“You should get home” I replied, “You look tired”

“I haven’t been sleeping”

I just frowned, “Why?”

“Hockey, the girlfriend, seeing you…”

“Oh…I’m sorry”

I looked around the room and sighed, “Well, I have an extra bed, seeing as there wasn’t a lot of rooms left, I got this one, so if you want to sleep in it, I have no problem with that, I mean--I’m rambling now” I just turned and sat on my bed.

“Actually, I might take you up on that offer”

“Really? But what about…what’s her name?”

“Annie” he replied, “and yah, we’re not on good terms right now” without warning he pulled his shirt over his head, and my heart almost jumped out of my chest.

“Oh” I finally replied, “Well, if you want, you can stay” I quickly pulled the covers over me and turned to face the other direction.

I heard him chuckle and then shut the light off, “Night Jules”

He hasn’t called me Jules since he left.

“Night Max”

Saturday, July 3, 2010

today is gonna be the day ; seven

I know there's alot of talking in this, hope you're okay with that !

Backbeat the word was on the street that the fire in your heart is out

I slowly opened my eyes, they were blurred at first but eventually what I saw formed into a hospital room. Why was I in the hospital?

I looked around the room frantically, maybe something to tell me why I was here, or find someone I knew. I sat up but my head felt like it was going to explode and I fell back.


I turned to look and saw some woman in a white coat looking down at me.

“Who are you and why the hell am I here?”

“You went to a bar on Friday night, your friend called you, a bit worried and you eventually told her where you were, and something happened after that, I can’t say what”

“So what? Just too much to drink?”

“No…someone actually drugged you” she said slowly, as if it would be any easier to take, “and you may have taken a few fists to the face”


“I’m sorry sweetie, we pumped your stomach and everything”

“How long have I been out?”

“About 3 days…”

“Holy shit” I whispered to myself.

“I’ll go get Ally” she said leaving the room. Minutes later I saw Ally come through the door, she looked terrified.

“Hey” I said.

“Are you okay?” she asked.

“Um…well, I am now, a little terrified that this could have been a lot worse…I’m glad you got a hold of me before someone else did…”

She swallowed a lump in her throat and tears started forming in her eyes, “I can’t believe I made you come here, this is all my fault. How’s your face, it’s pretty bruised”

“It hurts…” I replied sitting up quickly, “Ally, I ran into Max before I went to the bar, him and his girlfriend, and it hurt like hell, he is why I drank, not you”


“This is scary” I replied.

“Maybe going home will help you feel a bit better?”

“I like that idea” I sighed, “make sure you don’t tell my family about this…or anyone for that matter”

“Oh…see…that could be a problem”

There was a knock on the door and I saw one of the doctors, “There’s a Max Talbot here to see you, he refuses to leave until he does…”

I glared at Ally and she just shrugged, “I sent him a very angry text…and told him you were in the hospital”

“Let him in…I guess”

As soon as he came in Ally met him at the door, “You ass, you’re the reason she’s in here”

“Al…it’s okay” I said quietly.

She just glared at him as she left the room, then it was just the two of us. He looked tired, exhausted actually, like he hadn’t slept in days.


“Are you okay?” he asked, “As soon as I heard hospital I was on a plane. Shit…”

“I’ll be okay…” I said sitting upright, “I feel disgusting though, and my face hurts”

“Get into it with someone?” he said sitting beside me.

I just smirked, “I guess so, I don’t remember”

“I’m so sorry…”

“It’s okay, you didn’t know what I would do, I’m unpredictable that way…you know that. I’m more worried about you though…you look exhausted”

“I haven’t been sleeping” he admitted, “ever since I saw you”

“Oh…well I’ve slept for three days” I smirked.

He just laughed, “you’re sense of humour is still intact”

“Max, what do you want?” I sighed.

“To apologize”

“For leaving?”

He just nodded, “I should have told you something…”

“What’s that?” I replied.

“I loved you”

My head shot up and I looked over at him, “You’re joking right?”

“I really did”

I shook my head in disbelief and kept my eyes in the other direction. He did not just say that.

“Why are you telling me this now?”

“Because you need to know” he shrugged.

I just sighed, “Well since we’re being so honest, I should probably tell you something”

“Okay…” he sat there listening intently.

“Well….the thing is, I--”


“Give me two minutes?” I pleaded.

“Sorry dear, tight schedule, we have a couple more tests we need to do”


“Don’t worry” he said, “I’m sure we’ll talk again soon, I need to get back to the Burgh anyways”


“Ally has my number, if you need anything Julie…call me” he said leaning down and gently kissing my forehead.

I just half smiled, “okay, I will”

He left the room and I was left alone with the doctor. She half laughed as she began her tests. I just looked at her funny, “what are you laughing at?”

“I think you’re a little oblivious”

“What are you talking about?”

“He’s crazy about you”

I just laughed, “He said he loved me…as in past tense. We’re just friends now”

“He flew down here from Pittsburgh the moment he heard you were in here, he wouldn’t leave until he saw you, and the way he looked at you…he’s still standing out there”

“He said he was leaving”

“He won’t leave til the tests are done” she chuckled, “It’s so cute”

“He’s got someone else” I huffed.

“Well…that may be so, but he’s still crazy about you. I overheard him talking about you to your friend”

“Well, you’re a nosy one aren’t you?” I smirked.

“Sometimes I just can’t help it” she laughed.

I just sighed, “I don’t know if it’s in the cards for us”

“Well my dear, only time will tell”

As she finished her tests I laid back and closed my eyes. Was it possible that we might be able to work out again? I just don’t think that’s what he wants. He seemed happy with the other girl, I don’t want to mess that up for him. I don’t want to see him unhappy.

Then again, I would do anything to have him again. I would do anything so I can be happy again.

There are many things that I would like to say to you and I don't know how

Maybe you're gonna be the one that saves me

Wednesday, June 16, 2010

half of my heart's got you, half of my heart's got a right mind to tell you, half of my heart won't do ; six

I was made to believe I'd never love somebody else, made a plan, stay the man who can only love himself.

Now I can’t stop thinking about her. I didn’t want to leave her hurting again. When I left, it was definitely one of the hardest things I’ve ever had to do. When the season started, it was really difficult, I wasn’t myself. When I met Annie, everything seemed like it was back to the way it was, the hole in my heart was filled again. Little did I realize, the only one who can permanently fill it is Julie.

Everything about her was different. She wasn’t carefree, she seemed tense, worried, tired. She wasn’t smiling, her eyes were dark, no shine to them, she was almost…empty.

“You okay?” I turned my head to see Flower, he seemed genuinely concerned.

“Fine” I said shaking my head.

“You’re not you” Billy chimed in.

“Ran into the ex” I replied taking my seat on the plane.


I just nodded.

“It’s been months, you can’t let it go? What about Annie?”

“I can’t just let it go guys”


“Because, I fell--” I was interrupted by my cell phone, and a picture of Annie flashing. She always seemed to interrupt.

“Hey” I answered, “didn’t we just say bye?”

“Who was she?” she asked.


“The Julie girl” she replied, “Who is she?”

“I told you, a friend from back home”

“Just a friend?”

I just sighed, she would figure out the truth anyways, “my ex girlfriend, we ended it when I left for Pittsburgh, she didn’t want to come with me”

“Why didn’t you tell me about her?”

“You never asked, plus, it’s not that big a deal now, is it?”

“You’re hiding something” she said, “I can hear it in your voice”

“Can we not do this now?” I replied, “can I call you when I get home?”



I hung up and the guys just looked at me, “What?!”

They all went back to their business and I was left alone on the ride back to Pittsburgh.

The girl had this effect on me. Like I said, no other girls compared to her, and I don’t think anyone ever will. She broke down every barrier I kept up because of all the women that let me down in the past. She was like my saviour, and the sad part is, I never told her any of this, because I was leaving.

I made sure that what we had couldn’t be serious, because I was leaving. I never thought I would break my own rules, and fall in love with her.

4 months ago

We’ve known each other for a couple weeks, and I already considered her one of my best friends. To be honest, I felt a lot more for her, but I was convinced I couldn’t say anything, everything would just get messy.

It was the first time we were actually doing something together, alone, without the guys. We were just staying in. It was a rainy dreary night, she just wanted to watch a movie, I was actually okay with that.

“What movie?” I asked looking through her collection of dvd’s.

“Um…I don’t know” she said looking over my shoulder at the dvd’s, “Maybe…When Harry Met Sally? I absolutely adore it, and it’s not as much of a chick flick as you think”

I just laughed, “You don’t have to convince me, I’ll watch whatever you want”

She just smiled, “Okay”

She laid her head on my lap and flipped on the movie. I was barely paying attention to it, I’d look down at her every few minutes.

“Do you think it’s true?” she asked.

“What?” I replied.

“That guys and girls can’t be friends”

I thought for a minute, “I don’t know…”

“Well, we’re friends…right?” she asked sitting up.

“I suppose we are” I shrugged. I wanted to tell her how I felt, I really did.

“What’s wrong?” she asked narrowing her eyes, “Something’s wrong”

I didn’t say anything, I just kept my eyes on her. I heard something happen on the tv and I turned my head for a slight second, but I felt her hand turn my face back to her, “Tell me…are we friends?” she whispered.

I went to say something but my feelings got the best of me and I kissed her. She didn’t push me away, in fact she pulled me closer and I didn’t want to stop.

“Do friends kiss friends like that?” I asked.

She just shook her head, “no, but I like it”

She immediately grabbed my face and kissed me again and right then I wanted her, badly.

“Julie” I said stopping her.

“What?” she said breathlessly.

“If we do this…it won‘t last”


“I’m going back to Pittsburgh for the season”

Her eyes scanned my face, “Oh…”

“I’m sorry”

“It’s okay” she said shaking her head.


“Can I have you now? You’re making me insane” she smirked.

Present day


I shook my head and saw the plane had landed, I looked over at Flower and half smiled.

“You going to be okay?”

“She’s gone now” I said, “I won’t be seeing her again…not for a long time”

Monday, June 14, 2010

i've gotta tell you what state i'm in ; five

I love that I have 11 followers on this story, thanks so much ! Comments would be awesome though, i am getting a few, but I like seeing what you guys think : ) So comment on this one, it's probably my favorite so far : )

The truth is, I miss you. And I'm tired, I should not have let you go.

Arriving in Montreal was bittersweet, because I knew he was here. It was almost as if I could feel him near me. This is the closest I’ve been to him since he left.

We arrived at the hotel and immediately got ready to head to the Bell Centre. This was the first time I was on the Metro since the summer. On our first date, Max had taken me to Old Montreal. We had dinner and we did some sightseeing, it was absolutely breathtaking, and being there with him made even more incredible. He was always fascinated with Old Montreal, the buildings, the streets, everything about it, you could see it in his eyes when he talked about it. The light in his eyes was almost as bright as it is when he talked about hockey.

We took our seats, which were actually half decent, and watched the arena fill up, bit by bit. Another sold out crowd, not surprising. I watched warm -ups, and of course we ended up on the Penguins side of the ice. Then I saw him.

“Hey Jules…see him?”

I just nodded as my eyes fixated on him. No helmet, laughing, smiling, oblivious to anything going on outside of the rink. He was obnoxiously chewing on a piece of gum as he made his way around the net. That was him alright.

He was happy, he was really happy.

The game was really good. I really didn’t know who to cheer for, but I was definitely into it. I had never had the chance to see Max play because we met during the summer, maybe this sport isn’t all that bad.

The Canadiens ended up winning 5-4, in a really close match. Ally had decided to head back to the hotel, I told her I would meet her back there later. I needed to clear my head, I need to get over this.

I walked around the arena as spectators filed out bit by bit and the building got emptier. I watched as janitors started to make there away around the halls and seats, cleaning up after everyone.

As I scanned the walls I saw picture after picture of current players and players long gone, players part of a rich history. This place was phenomenal, and everything about it was beautiful, even if it was a tacky blue and red.

I found myself wandering, I didn’t even know what part of the building I was in, I probably shouldn’t even still be in here. I heard some loud chatter and realized I must have ended up in the players end. I saw a bus out the window and saw numerous Penguins players I recognized. I peeked around the corner and didn’t see him, I let out a sigh of relief and tried to bolt in the other direction when I ran into what felt like a brick wall to weak old me.

“Sorry” I said shaking my head.

“It’s okay” he replied, in a thick French accent. I know that voice, I know it as if it was my own. I looked up and saw the eyes of one Max Talbot.


“Do I know you?”

He doesn’t even recognize me.

“Julie” I simply said.

He took another hard look over my face and his expression softened and a smile spread across his face, “Wow…you look--”

“I know” I nodded.

“What are you doing here?”

“Ally…she made me come, because you were playing…she said I needed closure…”

He swallowed a lump in his throat and scratched the back of his head, “Oh…”

“Max…what we had…I have to know, did it mean anything to you?”

He let out a sigh and finally made eye contact with me, “It meant a lot to me” he said, “I adored you Julie. You were the first girl who didn’t see the hockey player, but saw Max, laughed at my corny jokes, brightened up my day just by calling me, you were literally like my best friend, with benefits…but dare I say it, the night before I left I should have told you something…”

“Okay…” my heart was already ready to burst, the tears were a second from falling.

“Julie, I fell--”


I turned around to see a tall lady, taller than me, she looked to be about 21, give or take a few years, long brown hair, and dark piercing eyes. She was beautiful.

“Annie” he said with a shy smile, “Annie, this is Julie, a good friend from back home”

Just a friend, a good friend, of course.

“Nice to meet you” she snapped.

I subtly stepped back as she stepped beside him. She whispered something in his ear and he just laughed, my heart sunk and I felt like running.

I just cleared my throat to get their attention, “I should go”

“Nice meeting you” she smiled, fake obviously, “I’ll meet you at the airport” she said turning her attention to Max. She just nodded and turned on her heel. I looked back at Max, but avoided eye contact.


“She is, once you get to know her”

“I need to go Max”

I stepped around him and felt his hand clasp onto my wrist and pull me back in front of him, “You have to know, that none of them have measured up to you, not even close”

“She’s beautiful Max, I’m not that beautiful. I chopped off my hair, dyed it, cheap black, barely any makeup, no designer clothes, converse, no heels, no money”

“Even with short, black, choppy hair, you’re still beautiful to me Jules. But your eyes…”

“What about them?” I was about to cry at this point.

“They aren’t as bright as they used to be…”

“That’s because you’ve been gone” I stated.

His hand gently let go of my wrist and he just stared at me, “I’m sorry”

“So am I” I replied, “Just go play your damn hockey, have your perfect girlfriend, and have a happy life Max. I’m sure I’ll manage without you” and with that I bolted down the hall, wiping the tears from my eyes in the process.

I found the nearest bar, probably the cheapest one in the city too, and I drank. I didn’t care what, I didn’t care how much, I just drank. Maybe the more I drank, the less it would hurt, and the more I’d forget about him, if only for a little while.